What Do You Say to the Woman at the Well?
A Look at Sharing the Gospel from John 4
by Ruth Rosen, missionary/author/editor
If you know the difference between a game of catch and a game of dodgeball, you’ve got a great metaphor for evangelism; namely, the Good News should come to people, not at them. People (and not just Jewish people) often dodge the gospel unless, or until, they are prepared to receive it. That is why we should continually ask God to prepare people’s hearts. But we also can help prepare people through what is sometimes referred to as ‘pre-evangelism’.
Jesus Himself demonstrated the balance between preparing people to hear His message and actually proclaiming it. His famous conversation with the woman at the well, recorded in John 4, is a great example. The following is just a thumbnail sketch of what this narrative can teach us about sharing our faith.
Read the text: ‘A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, ‘Give Me a drink’’ (John 4:7).
Jesus begins by asking the woman to do something for Him, and through this request, He is offering the woman an opportunity to interact. He is quite aware that this will surprise her – and the next verse reveals why.
Apply it: Think through what those you encounter might have to offer and how asking something of them could pique their curiosity or challenge their preconceptions of how you see them.
Read the text: ‘Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, ‘How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?’ For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans*’ (John 4:9).
The woman pulls no punches in pointing out that people like Jesus normally want nothing to do with people like her. Had Jesus begun the conversation with a spiritual declaration, this woman probably would have been pre-disposed to dodge His message. Why would she care to listen to someone who has a low opinion of her?
Apply it: People often assume that those who identify with Jesus hold those who do not in low regard. Many Christians share the gospel with humble and grateful hearts, but sadly, others have lacked grace, sensitivity and respect for those who don’t know Jesus. Social media often amplifies these un-Christlike attitudes, so we should not be surprised when people are wary.
Read the text: ‘Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give me a drink’, you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water”’ (John 4:10).
Jesus does not dispute the woman’s blunt remark, nor does He try to explain it away. Instead, He changes the focal point of the conversation by dropping an intriguing thought: There is more to Him than this woman supposes. In fact, if she would just see Him for who He is, she could request the amazing gift that only He can give.
Apply it: We don’t need to be defensive or argumentative about other people’s assumptions. Just as Jesus made Himself the focal point of the conversation, we want to encourage people to wonder, Who is this Jesus and what does He actually have to offer?
Read the text: ‘The woman said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob?”’ (John 4:11-12).
Jesus is using physical elements to help the woman begin thinking about spiritual things. At first, she focuses on literal details of how Jesus can procure living water – but in so doing, she also begins to wonder about His identity.
Apply it: Many physical necessities such as food, water or shelter can become pointers to deeper needs and how God wants to meet them. The smallest suggestion of a connection between the physical and the spiritual (as with the term ‘living water’) without a lengthy explanation can give others room to ponder and ask questions.
Read the text: Jesus says, ‘Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life’ (John 4:14).
At this point, Jesus is addressing the woman’s question of His greatness. He is still preparing her to receive His message, but He is now pronouncing the nature of living water and proclaiming His own identity as the Giver of eternal life.
Apply it: When unbelievers begin to ask real questions, they are opening the door for us to deliver our message to them. We can begin to talk about who Jesus is in ways that speak to their interest, allowing their questions and comments to open doors to deeper conversations.
Read the text: ‘The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw.” Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here”’ (John 4:15-16).
The woman now asks Jesus to prove Himself by providing what He has offered. But her interest is merely to save herself the trouble of returning to the well. Jesus asks a question that begins to bring her story and her deeper needs into the picture.
In our encounters: It’s not unusual for people’s first steps toward Jesus to be motivated by a desire for Him to make their lives better or easier, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Our interest in their story and their willingness to share it is important. It can help them take a deeper, more personal look at the gospel and give us opportunities to speak of Jesus’ mission to reconcile us to God.
In conclusion: Verses 17 and following unfold Jesus’ supernatural knowledge of this woman’s life and moral failings. When she changes the subject to the issue of where people ought to worship (a point of conflict between Jews and Samaritans), Jesus takes the opportunity to talk about what God really cares about when it comes to worship. When the woman declares her belief that the Messiah is coming and that he will explain it all, Jesus announces, ‘I who speak to you am He’ (John 4:26)
As the woman goes off to tell others about Jesus, she seems excited that He knew all about her – even though the things He knew came down to her brokenness and moral failings. Why would that be a positive experience for her? Because it was within the context of knowing her that Jesus showed kindness and offered her the gift of everlasting life.
Though we don’t know the people we encounter like Jesus does, we can pray for discernment as we encourage people to tell us their stories. We can ask questions to help them tell their stories, and we can be vulnerable about sharing our own stories. Sometimes, we build trust in a first encounter, and sometimes, it happens over time. Either way, as we are sensitive to God’s leading, our approach can help others see that God knows and loves them and that He is inviting them to enter into His redemptive story.
Q and A
Q: What are some examples of ‘pre-evangelism’ in Jews for Jesus?
A: Most of our ‘love and serve’ initiatives (such as meals for homeless people in Tel Aviv, shelter for women caught in addiction and sex trafficking, care packages for soldiers in the IDF, etc.) are pre‑evangelistic in nature.
Q: How do these initiatives lead to gospel conversations?
A: People know that we are Jews for Jesus, and many ask why we are offering these services. This often opens doors to speak about our faith. Some of our initiatives, such as our women’s shelter, include times of Bible-based conversations.
Q: Do you see pre-evangelism as a means to an end?
A: No. While we always hope that pre-evangelism will lead to gospel conversations, our interest in or concern for others should never be contingent on whether or not they choose to learn more about Jesus. We tell people about Jesus because we care about them; we don’t care about them in order to tell about Him.
Q: Doesn’t people’s urgent need for the gospel require that we go straight to the point: They need Jesus?
A: If you were holding a test tube containing the life-saving cure to a fatal illness, you wouldn’t assume that everyone you meet is aware of their illness or able to believe you are holding the cure. Urgency motivates us to look for every opportunity to share the gospel, but it also requires us to be patient and wise about how we deliver it.
Q: What happens if I share the gospel before someone is ready to hear it?
A: Remember, God has the power and grace to use your best efforts, as well as the efforts that could use a little more practice.
Q: Is pre-evangelism always necessary in order to share the gospel?
A: No. We sometimes meet people who are ready to hear the gospel, and we have the joy of reaping where others have sown. Likewise, God often uses others to reap where we have sown (See John 4:37).
*The Samaritans were descended from Jewish people who had intermarried with Assyrians after the fall of the Northern Kingdom. Jewish people of Jesus’ day scrupulously avoided them. Also, religious Jewish men had to avoid contact with women in order to remain ceremonially clean.